It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
