don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
