i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
