I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
