is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
