I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
