Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
