I don't think brook has ever known best
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
