just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
