she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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