It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
