You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
