Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
someone owes me an orgasm
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
