She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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