who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You can't motorboat a personality
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
