If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
