is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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