This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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