At least make sure they are 18
Why
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
