I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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