I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
