Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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