Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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