Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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