What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
