a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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