So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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