Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
