Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Still dying that you shit outside
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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