All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
