Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
