Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
