Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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