Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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