I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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