i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
