You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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