Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Never underestimate the power of titties
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