I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
