I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
lets start a swedish sibling band together
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
