I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
