Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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