white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
