I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
