i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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