listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
