Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
