You smell like stripper and shame
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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