Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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