Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Come see our sink grown plant.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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