Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He's on the porch naked. Help.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
